I’ll try to make this short (Hehe, that’s my Tim Kawakami impression!), but this crappy, nationally ignored Nuggs-Dubs game really had it all: It emblematic’d the metaphorical of epitomizing it up. Or, as sportswriters lazily say, it summed up the Warriors season.

• The snatching of defeat from the splash whiskers of victory (I’m trying to poke fun at Nellie in vague, non libelous ways).

I watched the game with my friend and we came to the collective halftime conclusion that Nellie would get scared in the fourth quarter, then turn to empirically discredited small ball. Our crystal ball also said this panic attack would lose the Warriors another close game. Guess we’re psychic. Or sentient.

• Embarrassment for Warriors management

On the heels of the Blazers, the Nuggets represent another injury-rocked team that can overcome adversity.

• An easy way to shift the blame

In real time, it looked like Monta landed on Earl’s butt. In slow-mo, he merely grazed it. In retrospect, it was a stupid thing for Ellis to do. Currently, it’s funny to say ‘Monta grazed Earl’s ass.’  I loved how Bob Fitzgerald turned into Howard Beale when it happened, considering how sub-marine the stakes were.  If anything, this puts GSW one step closer towards getting a soon-to-disgruntled high lottery pick.

• Dark Nellie comedy

This was sad, inexcusable, and incomprehensible. In the third quarter Ronny Turiaf injured his ankle,  went to the training room, and bravely reentered the game.  He’s a professional, someone who would give full effort no matter the circumstances.  But Nellie should have stopped him.  Holy shit, this  game was not the time for Turiaf torture porn.  I felt like this was the most under talked about subplot in Twitterland–possibly because we’ve become immune to Nellie’s insanity.  Ronny Turiaf limped up and down the court while visibly grimacing. His rotations weren’t slow so much as they weren’t there.  As Turiaf trudged on possession switches, he looked like an old, dying, dog dragging his body towards a final resting spot.  The absence of a fifth man was a big factor in the quarter, most noticeably felt when JR Smith waltzed towards an easy dunk.

Even when healthy Turiaf’s a ‘meh’ rebounder.  On a bad wheel, he could only receive rebounds–not get them.  Of course he nearly played the whole fourth quarter alongside an awful rebounding lineup.  Of course we lost.

• Bizarre Treatment of Anthony Randolph

No game would be complete without it.  Randolph played badly in the first half, but was pretty much left to his own devices.  I don’t have an issue with keeping the kid on the court, even through mistakes.  What didn’t make sense was Nellie’s benching of Randolph after some inspired second half play.  Or, maybe it would have made sense if Randolph weren’t the only healthy big at that point (I’m not counting Chris Hunter, he’s D-Leaguer till proven otherwise). It’s as though Don Nelson’s trying to get Anthony Randolph to suck through Pavlovian conditioning.  Who knew the old man could find such creative outlets for his whimsy?

• Monta Ellis laughing at the end

Can’t blame the guy. Can’t do it. Just can’t.

JD (DC)
Any chance of seeing Anthony Randolph moved before the deadline to a team that could actually do something with his potential?

Chad Ford
(1:40 PM)
Not unless they can get a team to take Corey Maggette’s contract too.

It’s always a bad sign when you’re reading a chat. I’m wasting time till my job starts tomorrow, but there’s still no excuse for reading and caring about an ESPN chat. Oh well, I read this and now I care. Perhaps I care because I’ve heard this trope everywhere: The Warriors will only deal their best future prospect if they can get a team to take their most productive player. Seriously? I know the economy went south and Maggette’s deal ain’t ideal…but seriously? CM’s playing out of his gourd right now and Anthony Randolph is looking like the better version of Josh Smith. This theme is analogous to saying that I could only give you my arm if you’ll take a leg.

The meta conversations of Warriors fans and pundits continue.  I’m responding to the Worriers blog semi-responding to Tim Kawakami’s blog.  Eventually we’ll all have solved the Warriors problems, only to have Cohan sell the team to Calgary.  The topic is Monta’s crappy +/- and its attributions.

I come here not to bury Monta Ellis, but instead to praise his past productivity.  Let’s go back a short hop temporally and a long leap mentally. Let’s see what Monta accomplished in 2007-2008 for the best Warriors team this decade:

Net +4.3

With Monta on the floor, the 48 win Warriors were a marginally better defensive team (-.8), and an improved offensive squad (+3.5).   While Ellis hurt them in rebounding, he more than made up for it with great scoring efficiency.  His 58% TS (stands for ‘True Shooting’, not ‘Tough Shit, we’re fining you 3 millie for a moped crash) from that year dwarfs his modern middling-to-mediocre 52.5%.  On the defensive end, he acquitted himself decently for a young player, usually drawing assignments on guys who were actually his size.

Oh, and then there’s the matter of turnovers.  Question: What would Monta’s 07-08 per game turnovers, multiplied by two be?  Answer: Not as much as his current per game TO amount (2.1 to 4.3).  Question: Is that the nerdiest thing you’ve ever asked yourself? Answer: Sadly, no.  Anyway, I’m not even going to reference the pace/minute adjusted stats because the 4.3 pretty much tells the story.  Adjusting for minutes is like putting a paint job on a totaled moped.

I’m not really of that fluffy Ric Bucher School of ‘this guy makes that guy better.’ I’ve tended to believe that players only marginally overlap (unless you play with Iverson).  But dammit if it doesn’t seem Monta misses Baron Davis.   Let’s move away from stats for a second and conjure up an old moving picture of Baron dribbling a few feet above the key.  Davis drives and this pulls the defense a few paces towards him.  After two dribbles he whips the ball towards Ellis, who’s crouching on the three point line (at the point that’s equidistant from top-of-the-key and the baseline).  As Monta’s defender moves towards the action, Ellis simply blows past him in the opposite direction. Simple, effective, and thinking about it nearly makes me cry. Off the ball is where Ellis is meant to play.

As I recover from that nostalgia I’ll add that Baron could guard twos, allowing Monta to matchup on ones (Ya, ya, ya, we’ve heard that a million times). Baron may not be Monta’s basketball soul mate-the one player meant for Ellis to play with.  I loved BDiddy, but he was never close to All-NBA material and there are other big point guards in the sea.  Could I interest you in nearly over-the-hill types like Andre Miller and Jason Kidd?  Maybe we can tank and snag my guy Evan Turner, or even luck out with the Great Wall of John? I’m not sure what the solution is, but I believe we’re wasting a good player’s prime every game the problem goes unsolved.

After the last game, Ellis said, ‘I can’t do it by myself. I can’t win a game by myself.’ He’s right about that, but perhaps he shouldn’t be trying to win it by himself.  Perhaps he should be reaping the benefits of a new facilitator, even a mediocre one.  With Ellis dribbling out the clock, we’re more likely to see a high-speed turnover than a lethal layup.

guys w badges&cuffs at my door, u dont have 2 do all that 4 an autograph guys!

1 minute ago

heard something bout me and guns, ive been workin on my shot LOL
2 minutes ago

all lies, u media ppl r crazy    funny stories tho!
2 minutes ago

can’t wait 2 go 2 jail! KIDDING! lmfao
2 minutes ago

david stern, wanna go 2 a shootin gallery w me&javaris? lolololol

3 minutes ago

im not crazy

3 minutes ago

watch me eat my own head! not crazy! LOL

4 minutes ago

i don’t even gamble cuz MJ told me not to    JOKES

4 minutes ago

anyone wanna gamble on how long im suspended or jail?
4 minutes ago

thought wizards were tryin 2 shoot ME after that contract, had to watch my back LOL

4 minutes ago

id only shoot caron if he hogged the ball

5 minutes ago

heard I might b suspended for 1 year  anyone know a good song 2 be listened to at 3PM?

6 minutes ago

weird that i saw shaq leavin my house this morning. ur crazy shaq!

7 minutes ago

Though some may criticize MJ for pulling a firearm on Crittenton, you won’t hear any criticism here.  Jordan is a true competitor, and a champion.  Those qualities were on display when Jordan shoved that glock in Crittenton’s face.  As for Crittenton, what the hell was he thinking challenging MJ like that? He’s got to know Jordan loves a challenge.  If there’s anybody you shouldn’t get fired up, it’s #23.  Crittenton’s lucky that Jordan let him live.  MJ very well could have shot Javaris in the groin, then killed the entire Crittenton family. He’s just that kind of ferocious competitor.

We’ve seen it before, Michael Jordan is a terrific, ruthless, inspirational killer.  The way Jordan mopped the floor with that fool Dean Smith in MJ’s hall of fame speech was masterful.  I personally loved when MJ cursed out a friendly Chamillionaire. Don’t come with that weak stuff, Chamillionaire! I love how, even in retirement, His Airness finds new ways to inspire us with displays of raw, unbridled aggression towards his fellow man.  We can all learn something from the way Jordan treats his foes.

Or should I say ‘joie de Turiaf’? I know that Turiaf’s joie de vivre is a contagious force, an irrepressible energy that somehow transforms the way I watch televised basketball.  Years ago, I met a Philly guy who lectured me on how much he loved Turiaf.  This dude was a casual NBA fan with no real attachment to the Lakers (Ronny’s team back then), yet he felt compelled to drunkenly express his bizarre Turiaf love (Nah, nah, ya don’ undah-stand… He’s a BEAST…a BEAST…I LOVE him). I thought it was odd at the time, but I get it now.

And here’s where it gets a little messy.  Because, well, I’m not sure where to separate Turiaf the player from Turiaf the lovable force of nature.  For the purposes of clarity I’m chucking metrics and win percentages out the window.  Hell, Turiaf competes for playing time with two of the most productive (in my opinion) Warriors and I still love the guy.  I know he’s merely a capable backup center. Trust me, I know.

It’s that Turiaf owns his space.  He’s not going through the motions of a NBA basketball game–he’s celebrating every moment. In a corporate, pressurized, sport, Turiaf stands out as a whirlwind of innocent exuberance.  He gets hyphy, and so do you.  You do because he conveys just how much damned fun competition should be.  That’s corny, but it’s coming from a guy who might just channel his inner Ronny next time he wins at pickup hoops or even Madden 2010.  It won’t look as cool when a 5-11 Jewish dude’s jumping around and flailing, but I’m wringing more celebration out of life because Ronny showed me the way.

And here’s where it gets a little messy again. I have no clue who the real Turiaf is.  I’m not even sure whether to call him, “Ronnie” or “Ronny.” He really could be anybody, even a two-faced Kirby Puckett type.  All I know is that he gives a piece of his being every night on the court, and we’re better for the transference.  Oh and then of course, there’s this:

A lot of praise around the internets for the Dubs effort vs. The Lakers.  I certainly didn’t expect anything but a Laker blowout, so…we should be happy?

Or not. The Warriors have near 50 win talent with a healthy squad, and these efforts should be the norm.  The Lakers game was a shining example in how brutally bad lineup decisions are snatching defeat from the splash whiskers of victory. Of course I’m going to talk about Anthony Randolph, and I don’t care if people are tired of hearing it.  Anthony Randolph, he of the ‘too many (gasp!) mistakes,’ played a shade under 19 minutes.  Who can fault Nellie for that, the kid was clearly overmatched and killing the team?  I mean, getting only 5 blocked shots, going 3/5, 5 assists, a whole turnover, making Lamar Odom pee his pants, we can’t have that, can we?  I mean, getting only 5 blocked shots, going 3/5, 5 assists, a whole turnover, making Lamar Odom pee his pants…Hey, whenever you can sub out a guy on pace for a quadruple double for the unshaven corpse of Vladimir ‘rather be snowboarding’ Radmanovic…well, I’ll stop with the cloying sarcasm.

Here are the AR per 36 minute totals:

Age      Tm      Lg      G      GS      MP      FG      FGA      FG%      3P      3PA      3P%
20      GSW      NBA      29      5      671      6.4      14.5      .439      0.1      0.3      .200

FT      FTA      FT%      ORB      DRB      TRB AST     STL BLK TOV      PF      PTS
5.3      6.5      .810         3.3         6.9        10.2 2.1          1.3        2.5 2.4       4.5      18.1

I’ll also add Randolph’s PER of 18.64 (second on the team).  And don’t start with that ‘but he kills the team chemistry on defense!’ The numbers ain’t with ya on it. Sorry.

Here is Don Nelson’s record since the beginning of last season: 38-75.  To those waiting for Nellie to coach us back from oblivion, do yourselves a favor and get super comfy.

I keep banging the same drum because the inexcusable occurs with alarming regularity.  Warrior ‘drama’ gets all the pub, but Nellie’s unfettered mind-numbingly destructive lineup decisions is the real overarching trope of the post ‘We Believe’ era.  Nellie’s addiction to ’small ball’ (or in this case, intentionally losing and passing it off as a strategy) continues unabated, and I have this stupid urge to make the holdouts accept reality: Please, for the sake of sanity, objective truth, and common wisdom,  admit that he’s coaching the team into the ground.  It’s painful enough to watch this happen to my favorite team, I don’t want to also feel like John Lithgow from ‘The Twilight Zone’ movie (there’s a gremlin doling out minutes to Kurz/Mikki/Vlad!).

It went from frustrating to comical back to frustrating and perhaps back to comical again.  At least this losing strategy has it’s comedic benefits. One sideshow of the Nellie ball experience is hearing/reading Nellie apologists defend these decisions to the bitter end.  As Nellie gets crazier, the apologists are forced into odd contortions.  If Randolph balls it up in mingy minutes, we get something like, ‘Hey, Randolph grabbed two more rebounds after he was yanked and Nellie talked to him, yay Nellie!’ Father knows best, right?  I’m sure he has his reasons, huh?  I’d be more inclined to believe this if Nellie hadn’t pulled the same crap with virtually every young big who had the misfortune of suiting up for him.  Look, I have nothing but love for all the Dubs fans out there, and I want the Nellie lovers to be correct…but I don’t think we’re at a point of arguing the subjective anymore.  As in, one can argue that Wade is superior to Kobe Bryant, or vice versa. One cannot reasonably argue that Anthony Parker is superior to Kobe. And you can’t make solid, data-based arguments for keeping the 20 year old on the bench.

The paternalistic excuses for Nellie’s handling of Randolph have officially jumped the shark.  Nellie’s not raising a child, he’s keeping one of his best players off the court in favor of NBA dregs.  This isn’t 1972, we have endless empirical evidence to prove a coaching failure. Warriors Fans, it’s time to wake up and smell the scotch: Your coach is hurting the team.